Well, let's face it, I've been broke for quite a while now. Don't get me wrong, I feel rich and have too much stuff, but spending money? Well let's just say that the few hundred bucks I found would have been lucky considering the weekend events planned and the reality of my available funds. But there was a problem, the money had an ID with it. Actually that's not a problem but the opposite of a problem. The reality is my lame mind made it a problem because I was tempted for almost two days before I finally drove to the persons home and handed it over. She gave me a hug. And a very long story that at times I'm sorry to report that I tired of enjoying; I mean she was an old lady and even though the lengthy stories were scattered yet filled with accounts of her and her now deceased husband, it took her almost a minute before she could remember his name. Take note on that husbands! :-)
For many this is no big deal. To a broke guy that's been paying bills for a large number of people for over twenty years, well at least this broke guy, it seemed a big deal. And the fact that it was such a big deal really bothered me.
Now one critical thought in my mind said to me that I had been brainwashed into feeling guilt and should keep it because it was good fortune. The guilt of keeping it was programmed into me as a working class dude who is bred to be docile and guilty of sin.
Knowing that just the "optimist" argument wasn't working against this particular thought I decided that any time that critical thought popped up in my mind accusing me of being a guilt-driven idiot I shut that thought down with this one little idea I made up a while ago and still use:
We live in the world we create.
Through our acts.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
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